in which bella dearly wishes to be less interesting

[subtly_artistic]

Bella successfully manages to stay in all weekend except for when she joins packs of students headed for the dining hall. If the elves are still stalking her, she doesn't notice them. On Monday, the subtle artist elf is present in their shared course, and looks at her, but doesn't bother her - Bella leaves with another classmate anyway.

Traveling in packs is quite effective, she decides.

Except she doesn't do it in her own dorm.

It's pouring rain outside Tuesday afternoon and Bella doesn't want to go to the dining hall. She has some stuff in her room - not serious groceries, but enough that she can heat up some broth and noodles, liven it up with a handful of miscellaneous dried herbs, and call it soup. She is hanging out in the kitchen doing this when Brad from down the hall, the same fellow who attempted to interrupt Celo at his baking, chooses to bother her.

"Hey, Isabella."

"It's Bella."

"But your full name's so pretty," says Brad. "You should go by that instead. So Isabella, let's go out tomorrow, I'll show you a good time in town, we'll have some fun."

"No," says Bella, "thank you, and it's still Bella."

"Isabella's prettier. Like you, you're pretty. It's not like I asked you to make like a nymph or something, I just want to take you out," says Brad. "Is it the money, I bet it's that, I can cover it, we can go someplace nice and you can get whatever you want."

"It's still no. It's still Bella."

"Don't be such a bitch, you never have plans," snaps Brad, "what are you going to do, eat at the dining hall and re-read your textbooks, you can come out with me."

Comments

[subtly_artistic]

"This - entire thing. You're relying on it as a primary sense but it's invasive; you can avoid interpreting it but only so much and it takes all that attention."

[pythbox]

"Yeah. Well - it takes whatever the opposite of attention is. Deliberately not looking at something."

[subtly_artistic]

"That's a kind of attention too. More outward-focused telepaths than me have to learn it." Pause. "Some of them find various forms of meditation helpful but I don't know if they're related enough to what you're doing."

[pythbox]

"...I don't think it's a meditation thing," he says. "Well, I guess I don't know. But I don't think so."

[subtly_artistic]

Bella shrugs. "You'd know at least as well as I would."

[pythbox]

"Okay. Then I don't think it is."

[subtly_artistic]

"I wonder why Mother Khaele makes you guys that way."

[pythbox]

"...Because we have to know we're doing it right," he says. "And, I mean - you're getting all hung up on the information part, which I guess is fair because that's the part that worries you, but it's not just about what we know, you know? It's about what we are, what we're made of. I don't think nymphs could be nymphs if we weren't the way we are. It's as much a part of me as my garden or my body. I don't just do sex, I am sex."

[subtly_artistic]

"Yeah," says Bella, "but you being sex in the direction of people who don't want you involved in their doing sex - or for that matter their not doing it - has problems."

[pythbox]

"Mama doesn't seem to think so," he observes, although it's not clear whether he agrees.

[subtly_artistic]

"Or at least considers those problems irrelevant in light of other concerns." Bella scoops up her soup bowl and heads to the sink to wash it.

[pythbox]

"Who knows," he says. "I'm not asking."

[subtly_artistic]

"I didn't say you should."

[pythbox]

He shrugs.

[subtly_artistic]

"Avoiding divine attention is one of my goals in life, I don't know about you."

[pythbox]

"The last time I talked to my mom, I was still with that guy," he says. "I asked her to do something about it. She said one of these days I'd learn to get comfy with my purpose in life. I told her to go fuck herself. End of conversation."

[subtly_artistic]

Bella winces.

[pythbox]

He shrugs. "And, you know, I'm still alive, so whatever."

[subtly_artistic]

"If," Bella starts, and then she stops and shakes her head and picks up his bowl to wash that too.

[pythbox]

"Mm?"

[subtly_artistic]

"Nothing. Or nothing I'd feel safe saying, anyway, I have - hubristic tendencies, I try to keep them under control."

[pythbox]

"Okay," shrugs Celo.

[subtly_artistic]

"When I was eight my mother caught me doing experiments, with the TV. I didn't actually break anything but I could easily have done. And she got me this enormous book that said The Rise and Inevitable Fall of Those Who Sought Science."

[pythbox]

Celo laughs. "That's cute."

[subtly_artistic]

"It kind of scared the crap out of me, actually, but now I guess I have the appropriate flinch response whenever I start expecting reality to work like fantasies where everything's orderly and well-behaved even when it's important."